


Across The Stars

by deadcandance



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: Thrawn - Timothy Zahn
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, M/M, Post-Star Wars Rebels: Family Reunion and Farewell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-04-05 05:03:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14036763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadcandance/pseuds/deadcandance
Summary: After a dramatic experience, former Admiral Vanto of the Chiss Defense Fleet was discharged with honor. However, he decided to stay on the Chiss homeworld and lived there for years, waiting for the love of his life to come back from Imperial space.Five years have passed since then and the Chiss Ascendancy decided to declare Mitth’raw’nuruodo dead, ceasing every effort to find the man and bring him home.Eli Vanto, though, is not ready to let go yet.





	1. Still Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> I'm obsessed with Eli and Thrawn and couldn't help but write this first chapter.  
> I already roughly know what's going to happen so hopefully it won't take long for me to update!
> 
> As usually, there may be some mistakes. I apologize in advance and hope you will enjoy this!  
> See you at the end!

“In light of past and recent events, the decision of the Ascendancy is to declare Mitth’raw’nuruodo dead. Every force deployed and involved in his search shall withdraw immediately and there will be no further attempts to find him. A State funeral will be held to commemorate his service and loyalty to his people. The Aristocra offers its deepest and sincerest condolences to you, Syndic Mitth’ras’safis.”

Thrass held his crimson gaze fixed on the old woman who had just talked, however it was as if he couldn’t really see her nor the other people in the room. Nothing seemed real to him and he simply stood at the centre of the room, waiting for the illusion to end.

The words he had just heard kept echoing in his mind as a strong, burning pain grew in his chest. It felt real. He wondered if someone had just stabbed him, but as he mindlessly brought a hand to his chest, he realized that there was no blood and the fabric of his tunic was intact.

He balled his hand in a tight fist and felt his fingernails digging in the flesh of his palm. It wasn’t an illusion then. Everything was real.

But even when he spoke, Thrass felt as if he was trapped in his own body, watching it move and act without having any control of it.

“What if my brother is still alive?”

He had to be. Thrawn couldn’t die. Not like that.

He watched the people in front of him exchange looks, then the old woman spoke again. Her voice was like one of a mother who has to explain something difficult to her stupid child. Thrass hated it.

“Five years have passed since your brother’s last report. And before that he’d always been on time. Moreover, the search party hasn’t found anything indicating that Mitth’raw’nuruodo is still alive.”

Thrass pressed his lips together and breathed in. His pain was becoming worse and if wasn’t sure whether it originated from anger or grief. He only knew it was tearing his heart apart.

“But you haven’t found evidence of his death, either,” he said, surprising himself of how calm he sounded.

Some of the people shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, but still Thrass waited patiently for an answer.

This time, a middle-aged man spoke.

“The decision is final. We suggest that you take some time for yourself to properly mourn your brother. You are dismissed.”

So that was it.

They expected him to mourn his brother when he didn’t even have a body to bury, to accept their decision without even questioning it. He knew they had done everything in their power to try to find Thrawn, but he couldn’t just sit and act like he was forever gone when there was even the faintest possibility of him being still alive.

Had their roles been reversed, Thrass knew that Thrawn wouldn’t have stopped looking for him.

And he wouldn’t either.

He respectfully bowed his head before turning around and leaving the building.

There was only one place he could go to.

* * *

Eli wrapped himself tighter in his cloak. Even after all the years he'd spent on Csilla, he still hadn't got used to the climate and was always cold.

It didn't matter much now, though, as he was really close to his home.

When the building came into sight, however, Eli noticed someone standing right in front of the door. He recognized him immediately and not just because of his elegant clothing, but because there was really only one person on the whole planet who would visit him.

As he approached him, Eli noted that he could easily consider Thrass his one and only friend.

He gestured to him and Thrass shook his head lightly.

"No, I arrived a few minutes ago. Don't worry."

Eli nodded and inserted his keycard in, inviting Thrass to come in as soon as the door slid open.

He took off his cloak and hanged it, then walked into the kitchen to make some caf for the both of them. Thrass followed him silently and then sat on a chair. From time to time, Eli glanced to him and he couldn’t help but notice there was something wrong with him.

While he waited for the caf to be ready, he sat next to Thrass and lightly touched his arm to obtain his attention. When his glowing red eyes laid on him, Eli started to sign the words with his hands.

_Is there something wrong?_

Thrass watched him carefully, then replied.

“I was summoned by the Ascendancy this morning. They told me they are abandoning the search for Thrawn and that … they’ll declare him dead.”

Eli's eyes widened and he felt his heart sink.

Dead. Thrawn had been declared dead. No one was going to look for him anymore. If he still was out there, perhaps in danger even, no one was going to know. He wasn't coming home. All these years of waiting … for nothing. He wouldn't come back.

His hands were now trembling and he felt tears welling up in his eyes.

When he signed to Thrass again, his motions were fast, driven by the many emotions he felt inside.

_Can they do that? And what if he's still alive?_

 The caf machine beeped, announcing that it was ready. Its aroma filled the kitchen, but neither Eli nor Thrass cared about it.

The Chiss stared at his hands still joined together.

"Yes, I'm afraid they can. I asked that same question myself and they simply told me that it is unlikely my brother is still alive. Not after all these years of silence."

Eli shook his head. He could think of a million reasons why Thrawn hadn't sent any report in five years, the Ascendancy couldn't just quit like that!

"Eli Vanto, I'm sorry. I know you cared about him."

Eli glanced at Thrass. There was something in his eyes that he had barely seen before. It didn't look like sadness. No, Thrass was angry. Even if he managed to hide it well, Eli had known him for enough time to tell.

His hands moved swiftly to form the words he couldn't say.

_What do you want to do about it?_

"What can I do? Nothing. They'd never let me go to look for him. They want me to stay here and let go of any hope of seeing my brother again."

_Maybe they won't let you go. But I doubt they would try to stop me._

Thrass frowned lightly in confusion. But Eli was serious: as much as he cared about his only friend, there was nothing for him left on Csilla, now that the chances of being reunited with Thrawn had drastically reduced.

"What are you talking about? You want to go and search for him _alone_?"

Eli nodded vigorously.

_If there's someone here who has good chances of finding your brother, that's me._

And suddenly the anger on Thrass' eyes seemed to fade. In its place Eli could only see his usual peace.

Perhaps something else was there too.

"Would you really do that?"

This time, when Eli gestured with his hands, he could not feel them trembling anymore. His movements were firm and swift, mirroring the absence of any doubt in his mind.

_I would do anything for him._

Eli saw a hint of a smile forming on the man’s lips.

“Thank you.”


	2. 1845

The sound of metal scraping against metal was something he'd got used to. It was his rite and the very first thing he did when he woke up.

He stared at the newly carved vertical line for a while, then his eyes moved to the one next to it, then to the other one, until he mentally counted them all.

  1. Five standard years and twenty days.



Thrawn closed his eyes and his index finger brushed against that last line.

"That's … that's a lot of time."

The Chiss' eyes snapped open and his jaw unintentionally clenched a bit before he relaxed it.

"Does that surprise you?"

"Not really. But seeing it … it's different."

"More real. You can see each day here and wonder about what you missed. Wonder if you'll ever know."

The young man behind his back fell silent after his words and Thrawn didn't really mind.

But then he moved next to him, and even if his eyes were still staring at the lines, Thrawn could feel him watching. He could almost feel him searching for the words to say something that had been bothering him for a while.

"Is someone waiting for you?" he finally asked.

After that, Thrawn turned to face Ezra Bridger.

He was very much different from the boy he'd first met. He now had grown into a young man: he was taller, but still short compared to Thrawn and his shoulders were broader. His hair was long and he kept it in a messy bun that left some strands free. There was also a hint of some facial hair, far from a full beard, but Thrawn guessed he was still too young to grow one.

He was looking at him expectantly after posing his question, but Thrawn had no desire to answer.

Ignoring Ezra, Thrawn started to walk away, but the Jedi followed him, probably determined to get his answer.

"Look," he said, walking a few steps behind Thrawn. "I know you don't like me and I don't like you either! But we've been here for years and you barely talk to me or the others!"

"You surely do enough talking for the both of us."

Ezra fell silent, but it didn't last long.

"Wait, was that a nice way to tell me I'm annoying!?"

Thrawn had to give it to Ezra: the young man really seemed to have a unique ability to bring him on the edge of his patience.

"Don't you have something to dedicate yourself to?" he asked, hoping that the Jedi would drop all his pitiful attempts at making conversation with him.

Ezra sighed, perhaps he finally realized that Thrawn didn't want to be bothered by him. Not that early in the morning.

"Fine, I'll go," he said, spreading out his arms in a gesture of admitted defeat. "But I'm not giving up."

Thrawn quietly watched as Ezra walked away, his old and worn-out cape swinging lightly behind his back.

He was the reason why they were stuck in this situation in the first place. And not just the two of them, but part of his crew as well.

If he hadn't summoned those damned creatures they wouldn't have been dragged to this remote wasteland of a planet, which appeared to have no inhabitants except for some wildlife.

Thrawn had spent a lot of time trying to figure out how it was possible for some living creatures to be capable of jumping into hyperspace. He'd have believed it had been some sort of illusion had he not seen it happen with his own two eyes.

After all the years that had passed without a satisfying answer, Thrawn simply decided to completely drop the matter for the sake of his own sanity. He hated not being able to understand something and his mind was already committed to the task of surviving, there was no need to add other things.

Thrawn's gaze was still fixed where Ezra had been earlier, but the Jedi was long gone.

After ensuring he was alone, he ventured into the wreckage of the _Chimaera_.

Even if the ship was mostly destroyed and filled with small animals which had made it their new home, Thrawn still knew exactly where to go.

Once he reached the device he turned it on and sat cross-legged in front of it. He watched as he beeped and listened to the sound of its parts whirring. It was rudimentary, but the best he could manage to obtain with the spare parts he salvaged from other machines.

When the light stopped blinking, he began speaking.

"This is Grand Admiral Thrawn of the Imperial Navy. 1845 days have passed since the ISD _Chimaera_ crashed on this unidentified desert planet. Most of the crew died and the ship suffered heavy damage. All systems are offline and I could only manage to build this crude communicator. I do not know who this message will reach, but we need immediate extraction. Our supplies are running out and even if we can count on hunting small animals and picking fruits or vegetables, I am not sure how long we can endure."

He pressed a button and watched as the light on the device turned off, meaning that the transmission was over.

Thrawn didn't know why he kept sending those messages. In five years no one had showed up. It was likely that the signal couldn't get past the planet's atmosphere or maybe they'd crashed in such a remote angle of the galaxy that no ships ever even passed nearby.

He knew it was best if he just came to terms with the fact that there was no way of leaving that place.

But he just couldn't, no matter how hard he forced himself to think about nothing else but his and his men's survival.

When he was alone with his own thoughts his mind wandered to his home planet. He wondered if they were looking for him or if they simply assumed he died. He knew this was the most likely outcome, there was no need to sweeten the deal.

Sometimes he also found himself thinking about his brother, Thrass. He wondered if time had changed him much, if he missed him and or if he thought of him as much as Thrawn did. Most of the time he just wondered whether Thrass thought he died or if he was confident his brother was still alive.

But there was one particular thought which was almost unbearable to him. Whenever he knew his thoughts were taking that particular direction, his heart ached in anticipation.

_Eli._

Thrawn thought almost obsessively about their last meeting, trying to engrave each moment further in his mind to never forget it. He thought of his small body in his arms as they were saying their goodbyes before his departure for the Ascendancy, his warm hands on his face as Eli kissed him. He remembered his scent, the sadness in his eyes and in his smile.

He often wondered how Eli looked like now and tried to picture him in his mind. But he could only think of the young boy he’d met when he was found by the Empire.

There was one particular thought that haunted him, a small doubt deep within him. After all those years, Thrawn still felt for Eli the same exact love. The flames of that sentiment burned brightly inside him and time had not been capable of putting them out. But was it the same for Eli? He didn’t expect him to have spent all those years depriving himself of the comfort of another being and he wouldn’t be surprised either if he found out that Eli had moved on. Yet, and Thrawn knew better than to lie to himself, he still hoped that somehow, if he managed to come back, Eli would be there for him.

* * *

Eli looked at the familiar landscape through the windows of his ship’s cockpit. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d set foot on Lysatra, but it surely had been a long time ago.

He chose to make a first stop on his homeworld to see his parents before leaving to find Thrawn. Even if he stayed in touch with them, he hadn’t spent time with his folks in ages and there was something he really needed to tell them.

The ship landed on the ground with a low thud and Eli turned off the engines. He felt a bit nervous, but he was confident everything would be alright. He unfastened the seatbelt, stood up from the pilot’s seat and took his bag from where he’d left it on the ground and walked towards the ramp. As it lowered, he saw two figures standing outside the house nearby. He smiled to himself, this was better than seeing them in an holo.

“Eli! Stars, he’s here!” his mother shouted on top of her lungs, running towards him.

He hadn’t even set foot on the ground when his mother squeezed him in the tightest hug he’d ever received. He closed his eyes, unable to stop smiling, and wrapped his own arms around her small body.

“Oh, you’re home … I can’t believe it!” she murmured, taking a step back from him so she could look at him in the eyes. Eli noticed the tears wetting her cheeks and he brought his hands to the woman’s face, wiping them away with his thumbs. He knew well those were tears of joy, however it still made him feel bad to see his mother cry.

“You never said anything about wanting to come back!”

Eli looked at his father who had just approached them. He was smiling brightly, like Eli had never seen him.

He let go of his mom and went to hug his father. The man returned the hug, patting his back. And while they held each other, he heard him whisper.

“I’m so happy to see you, Eli.”

Eli nodded and when they parted, he followed his parents in his old home.

Everything was like it had been when he left Lysatra to start the Academy at Myomar. As he looked at the familiar walls around him, he couldn’t help but think that back then he could never have imagined that his life would’ve taken such a twist. But now, he was glad it happened.

He sat with his parents at the dining table. His father made Gesha tea for everyone and they talked about his life among the Chiss and the family business. To his surprise, his parents had learned to understand sign language and he didn’t need a datapad to make himself understood.

“So, Eli,” his father said, interrupting the sudden silence. “Is there a reason why you came here? Or is it just a visit?”

For a moment, Eli clasped his hands together on the table. He took a breath and tried to think of a way to explain to his parents what he was going to do, but most importantly, what was hopefully going to happen after his trip across the galaxy.

_Actually there’s a reason._

Both his parents stared at him, encouraging him to tell them whatever was on his mind. Carefully, Eli explained it to them, trying to keep his gestures clear so his parents wouldn’t miss anything.

_I don’t know if you remember Thrawn. He was the reason why I got in the Chiss Defense Fleet. He was on a mission for his people, trying to build an alliance with the Empire. Five years ago he stopped submitting his reports and a few days ago the Ascendancy declared him dead. His brother and I, though, believe he is still alive somewhere in the galaxy._

His parents looked confused. And Eli could understand why, he still hadn’t gotten to the part that concerned him. His mother’s brows, however, suddenly lifted in what Eli guessed to be understanding.

“You want to look for him, don’t you?”

Eli nodded and smiled slightly.

_I can’t just sit back and accept that he’s dead if there’s even a small chance that he isn’t. I owe him so much: he was a good friend during the years I served under him. I really care about him and that’s why I am doing this. It’s not going to be easy: I have no idea where he is and I know it could probably take me years to even find a solid lead. But I want to do this. I have to._

He saw his folks exchanging looks. Then his father spoke.

“Well, you already got a nice ship. If you need anything else for this journey, we’ll give it to you. You’re a grown man, it’s not like you need our permission.”

_Thanks, dad. But that’s not the reason why I came here. There’s something more._

“What do you mean, Eli? What is it?” his mother asked, looking worried.

_Thrawn and I had more than a professional relationship. More than a friendship, too. We loved each other. I never said anything because it was important to keep it a secret, you know what would’ve happened if someone in the Navy even suspected of us._

Eli lifted his gaze to look at his parents. His father was pale, eyes slightly widened and his mother looked even more worried than before. He took another sharp breath. He had to do this.

_When I find him, I want to ask him to marry me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> I haven't really read it again, so I apologize for any mistake!  
> You can also find me on [Tumblr](http://revanakin.tumblr.com)!


	3. ISD Chimaera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh  
> i'm so late, but inspiration has been a bitch lately.  
> a big thanks to all those of you who follow and comment this story! you're the reason that keeps me writing!  
> i hope you're still with me!

"What are you talking about? Are you crazy!?"

"I knew spending too much time with those aliens was bad for you!"

That went exactly the way Eli had imagined. He knew his parents wouldn't have taken the news very well, but he'd hoped they would at least try to put aside their prejudices and just be happy for him.

He hid his face in his hands while his mother and his father talked over each other about all the reasons why Eli's desire to marry Thrawn was wrong and could lead to nothing but utter disaster.

"I thought you'd gone insane when you told us you were gonna live on their planet, but this! Marrying a Chiss?! How can you even think about that? They … they don’t have feelings!"

Eli patiently waited for them to calm down, even if he started to feel his parent’s words getting to him. It hurt to hear them speak that way about the Chiss, about Thrawn.   
_“They don’t have feelings_.” How could that be true? Only Eli knew the way Thrawn’s eyes would light up each time Eli reached for his hand and gently squeezed it.

_You speak as if you know every single Chiss._

"Well, I don't need to know every single one of them! I know what they're like!" his father snapped.

_You don't. You only ever heard of legends._

"But Eli," his mom said, almost in a pleading voice. "There can be a bit of truth in legends, too."

Eli resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed in heavily.

_Which of us has spent the last years on a Chiss planet?_

His parents stared at each other, clearly at loss for words. Eli took advantage of their hesitation.

_And most importantly I know Thrawn more than you._

At these words, his father seemed to lose all of his patience at once and started to yell at him, as if that was going to make Eli understand his point better.

"Maybe you don't know him like you think you do! How can you be so sure that he didn't only use you so he could send you to his people to do all the dirty work they don't want to do? Last time I checked it wasn’t one of them who got their throat sliced!"

His father’s words hit him like a punch to his guts. He clenched his fists hidden under the table and lowered his gaze. He was no fool: he knew well that gaining his parents’ approval of his love for Thrawn would take time. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if they’d ever accept it.

But hearing his father talking like that upset him. He was treating him like he was some sort of stupid child: he would never have gone to Csilla if he hadn’t wanted to, Thrawn hadn’t manipulated him into some sort of scam. And how he’d used his injury only to prove his point … that was the last straw.

_I am an adult. I know what I want and I'm not asking for your permission to marry the person I love. I was just hoping you would be happy for me, but apparently you care more about your stupid legends than you do about your only son._

He didn't even wait for their reactions: as soon as he was done signing his words to them, Eli stood up abruptly. He needed some time alone, mostly because he was disappointed in how that conversation went.

He ignored his mother asking him to come back and his father yelling at him that he only reacted that way because he’d said the truth. He silently walked to his old room and opened the door.

For a few minutes he looked around at his old stuff from when he was a teenager. There were some posters attached at the walls: most of them were of his favourite holomovies. He also owned some miniatures of starships, speeders and armors of soldiers of the Clone Wars.

He smiled faintly. It felt like centuries had passed since he used to spend most of his time in that room.

But that was hardly the time to dwell on old memories: even if he'd chosen to stop and visit his parents, he still had a mission to carry on. And that was what mattered the most to him.

He sat on his old bed and took out his datapad. He accessed the HoloNet and typed " _ISD Chimaera_ " in the search engine, filtering the results to show only the most relevant news from five years ago.

He read almost every single article he could find, searching for any detail that could help him with his search, but pretty much they all said the same thing.

The Chimaera was last seen over Lothal. He remembered Thrawn mentioning the planet in his reports to the Ascendancy.

But there was something weird about the interviews to the witnesses: some of them claimed to have seen some huge creatures attack the Star Destroyer before it jumped into hyperspace. Some others were sure those creatures were Purrgils.

Eli put the datapad down on the bed right next to where he was laying and sighed. He knew looking for Thrawn would be hard, but he felt like he was drowning in an ocean of uncertainty and he couldn’t see anything to hold on to save himself.

Doubt started to creep into his mind: what if he would never find him? He felt his eyes burn with tears as the thought of never being able to hold Thrawn again overcame him, but he immediately scolded himself for his own negativity. It was just the beginning of his journey, he had to be patient and faithful.

He closed his eyes, tired after all the reading he’d done earlier. He could hear the faint wind moving the leaves outside and the chirps of birds. Only in that moment he realized how much he had missed Lysatra with its colours, its smells and its wildlife.

Before he even knew it, he fell asleep.

* * *

_His fingers running through his hair were one of the most pleasing feeling in the whole galaxy. He knew for sure that, if only he could, he’d spend the rest of his life cuddled in the arms of this man, enjoying the feeling of his colder body against his own._

_But he knew time wasn’t on their side. It was only a matter of hours before they had to say goodbye, stars knew for how long._

_Instinctively, he squeezed him harder and felt the caresses cease._

_“You tensed, why?”_

_“This is our last night together. I … I don’t know if I am ready to let you go, Thrawn.”_

_He felt the man shift and when he opened his eyes Thrawn was sitting on the bed, staring at him._

_“You don’t have to let go. I will come back to you if you are willing to wait for my return.”_

_Eli sat up on the bed as well, facing Thrawn. He heard something in his voice that had never been there before: uncertainty. It was as if the Chiss was afraid Eli didn't consider him worth waiting._

_It made Eli's heart warm. He had just confessed he wasn't ready to say goodbye, yet Thrawn still had doubts._

_He took his face in his hand and traced those sharp featured he loves so much with his thumbs._

_"I'd wait my whole life if it meant I could see you again, even if it was just for one hour," he said, whispering those words close to his lover's lips._

_He felt Thrawn's hands on his hips then he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Eli's. They stayed like that for a long time, in silence, just enjoying the closeness and intimacy of those moments._

_"Eli," Thrawn whispered suddenly. "I feel for you what I have never felt for another being in my life. You awakened in me what I always thought wasn't there."_

_Eli let him finish before tilting his head slightly so he could kiss Thrawn's lips. It was slow and passionate: hands keeping their bodies as close as possible, their lips parting only for the few seconds necessary to catch their breath and then again they were together, savouring the other's familiar taste._

_When they parted, both breathing heavily, it was Eli's turn to speak._

_"I love you too, Thrawn. It fills my heart, makes me feel like anything could happen to me and I wouldn't mind as long as I have you right here."_

_Thrawn gently touched his face, a hint of a smile on his thin lips. Eli put his own hand on his, keeping it right there against his cheek and closed his eyes._

_"I'm going to remember this night when I'll miss you. I'll think about kissing you, trying to remember what it felt like. And I'll think about your voice, about how it was different when you spoke to me when it was just the two of us. I'll think about you every day until I will be with you again."_

_He received no answer from his lover. Thrawn held Eli's hips and, as they kissed one more time, he gently pushed him down on the bed again, laying on top of him._

* * *

It was cold and lonely again.

The pleasant feeling of his lover’s weight on him was gone, as was his familiar voice, whispering words meant only for his ears. Eli opened his eyes, realizing he was in his room again. His cheeks were wet with tears and his heart felt hollow with the awareness that he'd been dreaming what he so desperately wanted to be true.

He stood up and wiped his tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He definitely needed to breathe some fresh air.

Careful to avoid his parents — he really was in no mood for another argument — he sneaked out of his own home and walked until he was far enough from everything. There, he sat under a large tree, breathing in the scent of its flowers as the wind lightly shook them.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the trunk. He had thought he would have found some peace on Lysatra before travelling for a long time, but it was clear that his was only an illusion.

He felt hopeless. He had nothing to start with, nothing to follow.

But suddenly, an idea hit him: there was only one thing he had to do if he was hoping to achieve something.

First thing in the morning, he was leaving for Lothal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, sorry for my mistakes!  
> i am not a native speaker and i don't have a beta reader, so every mistake is mine.  
> i hope it didn't make the reading difficult!


	4. Past

Eli put the last of the crates among the others he’d loaded on his ship’s cargo bay. He wiped the sweat on his forehead with the sleeve of his jacket and then rested his hands on his hips, checking if everything he needed was there.

He suddenly heard coughing behind him and when he turned, he saw his father standing awkwardly at the door.

“I … uh,” he murmured, scratching his head full of dark, greying hair. “I just wanted to tell you that I … I didn’t really mean the stuff I said last night … about your injury.”

Eli stared at his old man for a while. He knew his was nothing more than an attempt to make peace with him before he left: he probably didn’t even regret what he said at all. He knew his father was sure that the Chiss Ascendancy had been keeping sending his son on one suicide mission after another until he got discharged. And he was also aware that there was only one way he could convince him otherwise.

_I volunteered, dad_ , he signed to him.

His father furrowed his brows and looked at him, his confusion plain on his slightly wrinkled face.

“What do you mean? You volunteered for what?”

Eli sat on one of the crates and patted the one right next to him to invite his father to do the same. After he sat down, Eli began telling a story that had never been told before.

* * *

 

_“Your primary objective will be recovering the data which the pirates stole from our shuttle. The holodisk is equipped with a transponder: this will make it easy for you to trace it. Remember: the disk contains data of invaluable importance to us, it is imperative that you worry about anything else only after it is secured.”_

_The bridge of the_ Resilience _fell silent for a couple of seconds after the Syndic’s words until Admiral Ar’alani stepped forward to speak._

_“What are we to do with the pirates?”_

_The holoprojected figure of the Syndic folded his arms over his chest and elegantly shook his head._

_“I trust your judgement, Admiral. You shall do as you deem appropriate.”_

_“Understood.”_

_The man slightly bowed his head and then the communication was interrupted._

_Admiral Ar’alani turned to face her crew._

_“Any questions?” she asked._

_Everyone remained silent, a sign that everything was clear and that they were all ready to begin the mission. The Admiral nodded, almost to herself, then turned again._

_“As soon as we receive the coordinates from the disk’s transponder, we can jump to hyperspace.”_

_It took only a couple of minutes before the stars disappeared from the_ Resilience _’s viewports, replaced by the familiar blue tunnel of hyperspace. When they jumped out, an YT-1210 light freighter came suddenly into view. It was the pirate’s ship._

_Ar’alani stood still in the middle of the bridge, her back straight and her hands behind her back._

_“Contact the freighter,” she ordered._

_A few minutes passed in silence after that until the hologram of a tall, female Weequay appeared. She held her hands on her hips and didn’t even try to hide the annoyance on her face._

_“This is Admiral Ar’alani of the Chiss Defense Fleet. We know you attacked one of our shuttles, killed its crew and stole a holodisk containing vital information for our government. You are outmatched and I suggest you surrender peacefully and submit yourselves to face justice. Shall you not cooperate, I will not hesitate to resort to the use of deadly force,” she explained calmly, using her heavily accented Sy Bisti._

_The pirate didn’t reply immediately, instead she turned her head towards someone of their crew they could not see and spat some words in what to Eli’s ears seemed to be Huttese. Then, with a malicious smile she dragged someone in front of herself, holding them still while pointing her blaster to their head._

_The hostage was a young Chiss boy. He wore a CDF uniform and had surely been a junior officer on the shuttle attacked by the pirates. He was shaking and looked tense, but he didn’t say a word._

_“Yeah, I don’t think ya’ll do that. See, if you attack us, Baby Boy’s brains go boom,” the Weequay explained, satisfied._

_“Admiral,” the boy murmured in Cheunh. “Do what you must. The data is much more important than my life. I will die with honor knowing I did my duty to protect my people.”_

_“You shut the kriff up, Boy!” the Weequay shouted, hitting him in the head with the butt of her blaster._

_Ar’alani flinched as she watched the young man fall silently to the ground and disappear from the communication. Then Eli saw her clenching her fists._

_“I’ll give ya time to think, Admiral Pretty Hair! Remember: a wrong move and you’ll receive a piece of the Boy!”_

_The transmission ended abruptly leaving the crew of the_ Resilience _silently waiting for the next orders. It seemed like a century passed until Ar’alani spoke again._

_“Do we have blueprints for that freighter’s model?”_

_“No, sir. There’s nothing in our database.”_

_It was at that point that Eli’s stepped forward. In his time helping his parents with their shipping business, he had seen a lot of freighters like that one. He knew them very well._

_“Admiral, sir,” he said, gaining Ar’alani sudden attention. “That is a YT-1210 light freighter. I happen to have good knowledge of this model.”_

_Eli could swear he saw the hint of a smile forming on the Admiral’s lips._

_“Very well, Captain Eli Vanto.”_

_Eli spent the next thirty minutes trying to explain in detail the freighter’s structure to the crew and answering to their questions and doubts. After that, Ar’alani had already a plan in her mind: she gathered her men and women and explained it to them._

_“We will trick the pirates into thinking that we want to negotiate with them. As Captain Eli Vanto told us, this freighter needs a standard crew of two people and can transport up to four passengers. I will command a squad of six including myself and one of them has the task to stay with the hostage. While we distract the pirates with false negotiation, this person shall take the hostage to the escape pods and they will abandon ship. As soon as the hostage is safe, we will execute the crew and retrieve our data. Once the data is secure, the hostage and his escort will be extracted.”_

_Admiral Ar’alani was ready to assign each task to her crew, when she noticed Eli’s raised hand._

_“Yes, Captain?”_

_“Sir,” he said, staring directly at the Admiral’s eyes. “I volunteer to be the hostage’s escort. I am the one who knows this freighter’s structure best and who has the best chance of succeeding.”_

_The Admiral looked at him, most likely weighing the option he proposed in her mind. True, Eli Vanto knew the freighter like no one else aboard the_ Resilience _, but he was still pretty new and Ar’alani was not sure to trust him with such a delicate task._

_“Are you sure?” she asked. “This is no easy task and it bears dangers.”_

_“I am ready, Admiral.”_

_“Very well, then. Captain Eli Vanto will be the hostage’s escort.”_

_The rest of the briefing was quick: Ar’alani finished putting up her squad choosing the most trusted among her crew. She then proceeded to contact the pirates again, who gladly accepted her proposition to negotiate and invited them aboard their ship. If they suspected anything, it didn’t show._

_Eli was now standing in front of the freighter’s airlock among the other members of the squad, including Admiral Ar’alani who stayed a step ahead of them. The heavy, durasteel door opened revealing the Weequay woman they spoke to before and a Twi’lek male._

_“Ah! Admiral!” the Weequay said. “I’m so glad you chose to be reasonable!”_

_“As am I,” Ar’alani replied coldly._

_“Please, come in! Welcome in our ship!”_

_They stepped in, noticing two female Rodians — twins, surely — standing in a corner. Other than them, it appeared there were no other pirates on board. They took their weapons and led them to a wide room equipped with seats and various means of entertainment._

_Before they could start, Ar’alani spoke to the Weequay._

_“I wish Captain Eli Vanto stays with the hostage while we conduct our negotiations to ensure his safety and well-being,” she said._

_The Weequay exchanged looks with the Twi’lek — most likely her second-in-command — and he nodded briefly. Eli stepped forward and the Weequay nodded towards a corridor._

_“Fine. Vrell will take you to him.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_Eli followed the man along the strict corridor until he stopped in front of a door. He tapped a code in the console and it slid open, revealing the Chiss boy sitting on the ground, handcuffed. Eli stepped in and knelt next to him, the boy smiled softly at him and Eli noticed some bruises on his face._

_“Are you hurt?” he asked in Cheunh._

_“I am a bit nauseous,” he murmured. “But that’s because I got hit on my head.”_

_Eli nodded, but before he could say anything else, the boy spoke again._

_“Are you he?”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“The human sent to us by Mitth’raw’nuruodo. I’ve heard about you. It’s such a honor.”_

_Eli lowered his gaze and couldn’t help but blush at the young man’s words. He hadn’t imagined the Chiss would talk about him: yes, he was something completely new to them since they spent their lives in isolation from the other people and cultures across the galaxy, but at the same time he was just one human._

_“Thank you,” he stammered. “But, really, I’m just a man like any other.”_

_The boy smiled again, as if he knew something about him that even Eli hadn’t realized yet. Feeling embarrassed at being the centre of their conversation, he shifted their topic._

_“What is your name?”_

_“I am Chaf’ani’reonn. You can call me Afanir.”_

_“Nice to meet you, Afanir. I’m Eli.”_

_“I know.”_

_Afanir looked really young and Eli wondered how old he was. But he didn’t want to waste any more time having pointless conversations that could endanger his attempt to save his life. Trying to act as casual as possible, as if he was simply talking to him to pass the time, Eli revealed the real reason for his presence._

_“Listen, Afanir. I’m here to take you away from this ship so Admiral Ar’alani and her people can retrieve the data without the pirates trying to harm you. We need to reach the escape pods. I won’t lie to you: it’s not going be easy.”_

_Afanir lowered his head._

_“I can’t help you: I’m handcuffed and they took my weapon.”_

_“Don’t worry: I’m unarmed as well. We’ll worry about that later, first we need to get rid of that brute out there.”_

_The boy looked around the room then pointed towards the other end of it. Eli glanced where Afanir pointed and noticed a metal staff against the wall. He smiled and nodded, understanding what the young boy meant._

_“Keep talking.”_

_He and Afanir kept speaking Cheunh while Eli carefully stood up and reached for the staff, trying to be as silent as possible. He then let Afanir speak as he approached the Twi’lek guarding the room who got his back to them. He raised the staff above his head and then hit the man as hard as he could on his head._

_The Twi’lek fell to the ground with a thump and Eli dragged him inside the room. He searched his body and found a small device which unlocked Afanir’s handcuffs. He then handed the pirate’s blaster to him._

_“What about you?” he asked, worried, staring at the weapon in his hands._

_“Don’t worry about me. Did you see any other people on this ship besides a Weequay, two Rodians and him?”_

_“No, it’s just them.”_

_“Good. Come on, we’ve got to hurry up. I don’t think this one’s nap is going last for long.”_

_Afanir nodded and hurried to his feet. Eli peered out of the open door to check the corridor which was empty, as he imagined. He then gestured to Afanir to follow him._

_Their walk through the ship and towards the escape pods was uneventful, every other member of the pirate crew was clearly busy with Ar’alani fake negotiations. He mentally thanked her for her good plan that allowed him to go on with his own mission without much trouble._

_Going back to that day, Eli probably spoke too soon._

_“Here we are,” he said, once they reached the escape pods._

_Eli approached one of the pod’s controls and opened its hatch. He then let Afanir go in first: after all, he was his priority. The pod was pretty small, but the two of them had both thin figures so he imagined they wouldn’t be so uncomfortable during the short trip to safety._

_As he was stepping into the pod, Eli heard Afanir scream._

_“Eli, behind y—NOO!”_

_Suddenly he felt an unbearable pain spreading from his neck directly into his brain, feeling like a poisonous fire flowing through his veins. He brought both his hands to his throat and he felt a wide wound. He felt to his knees, eyes wide and body wet with sweat._

_He heard a blaster shot and then a thud, but it was as if they both came from a long distance. He then felt hands on him and a voice speaking, but he couldn’t understand what it said well._

_“… here … blood … alright … Eli … safe.”_

_Something dragged him and he could not resist it._

_His vision went dark, sounds started to drift away._

_Then, nothing._

* * *

 

Eli looked at his father.

He was staring at the ship’s floor, a hand over his mouth, his eyes watery with tears.

“You … you risked your life for that boy …” he whispered.

Eli nodded.

_And he saved mine. I would be dead if it wasn’t for Afanir. He dragged me inside the escape pod and brought me to safety. I was lucky the vibroblade immediately cauterized my wound or he couldn’t have done anything for me. So please, don’t speak again about something so painful to me if you don’t know what really happened. I am not cannon fodder to the Chiss._

All of a sudden, Eli felt his old man’s arms wrapping him tightly. He smiled and hugged him back. It felt good and he closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Eli,” he heard him say.

Eli replied by stroking his father’s back in a reassuring way.

“Okay, okay” he said after a while, breaking the hug. “I don’t want to be the reason why you are late.”

Eli snickered, shaking his head as he watched his dad trying to wipe his tears without being noticed. He accompanied him out of the ship and said goodbye to him again.

Before going back in, he stared at Lysatra’s horizon for a while, wondering if he was ever going to come back home again. As he headed inside again, he heard his father calling his name.

“I hope you find him,” he said once Eli had turned.

Eli smiled and then closed the ramp.

_I hope that too, dad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the lovely comments! they are what pushes me to go on with my writing! knowing that there's someone who enjoys reading what i write is heartwarming!
> 
> you can follow me on [tumblr](http://revanakin.tumblr.com), if you want!

**Author's Note:**

> As you surely noticed, in my fic Eli is mute. I will explore what happened to him in the following chapters.  
> To write Eli in this fic, I took inspiration from the character of Leo from the Netflix movie "Mute".  
> Thank you for reading!


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